Meet The Spartans

Times Watched: 1
Watched with: Mr Tank @ Eng Wah Suntec (28/02)
Snacks: Popcorn & Iced Lemon Tea

this. is. PRATA!!!!!

so we all love spoof movies right?
it started out with the Hot Shots! series.
and the Scary Movie series was actually really good. (except the 4th)
but recently spoof movies like Date Movie & Epic Movie really started to fucking suck balls to the gedegak don't you think?
(oh btw. this movie is supposed to be the 'sequel' to Epic Movie')

i guess this movie is 'fresh' in the sense that it makes fun not only of other movies but also just real-life celebrity shit (like youTube, Dane Cook, Britney and the such)
my favourite? the Brangelina crack was pretty okay.

oh you guys KNOW that my standards for comedy are pretty high.
and no it doesn't have to be intelligent comedy.
(oh c'mon. i'm the guy that thinks Dumb & Dumber is the greatest comedy ever made in the history of the world)
so if i laugh out loud in the theatre then it can't be that bad.

surprising to say the least.
watch this is you're in for a few cheap laughs on a boring day.

Final Verdict: 2 & 1/2 out of 5

The Deaths Of Ian Stone

Times Watched: 1
Watched with: Mr Porno & Mr Rider @ Shaw Towers (24/02)
Snacks: Hotdog Combo

worse type.

so the apparent recommendation on this movie was that it was SUPER gory!
and then someone else told me it wasn't so gory after all.
so i simply had to see for myself right?

so Ian Stone (Mike Vogel) is an american dude in london.
and apparently he's got a deep dark secret past.
and everytime he starts remembering about this so-called mysterious past, these creatures come along and hunt him down and then kill him.

and here's the kicker.

everytime he dies he'll just be 'reset' back to another 'life' where the whole 'remember your past = creatures kill you' concept repeats itself.
and this goes on for a fair bit of the movie before you start piecing the puzzle together on your own.

i'll be honest it wasn't gory at all.
but the person who said it was gory watched this movie via some other source via our lovely theatres in singapore.
and i've seen pictures on the net where there's hints of gore and i didn't see these scenes in the movie theater.
could this be a case of censors at work?

well they rated the fucking thing R(21).
so i don't see the need for any further censorship.

so this turned out to be another brit attempt that sucked.

my advice?
don't waste your money.
just wait for your friend to buy the dvd and borrow it.
and hope it isn't censored either.

Final Verdict: 1 out of 5

There Will Be Blood

Times Watched: 1
Watched with: Mr Rider @ GV Vivo City (22/02)
Snacks: Green Tea

finally.
i've waited 2 years for this movies.
and the fact that everyone was giving it full marks fuelled my anticipation.
was it REALLY that good?

it is the 1890s. a time where prospectors searched the lands for oil and minerals. a time where men looked to make their fortune by digging the ground.
a time where men would kill and sell their souls for money.
(kinda same like today lah actually...)

Daniel Plainview (Daniel Day-Lewis) is, as he puts it, "I'm an oil man. A family man."
and his family is his adopted son H.W Plainview whose father was a worker of his who died working the derricks one day.
and when a young man gives him a tip about an oil-rich piece of land, thus begins the tale of Plainview and his struggle and quest to make his fortune by all means necessary.

there Plainview comes across obstacles involving his son, a long-lost relative and an over-bearing young man/'faith healer ' Eli Sunday (Paul Dano) who runs a church and is ultimately the nemesis to Plainview's vision and beliefs.

and it is very seldom that you can find a movie where a single actor can carry the WHOLE movie from start to finish on his own.
Daniel Day-Lewis' performance as Plainview is one of the most powerful performances i've ever seen in a long time.
here is a man who is arrogant. proud. ambitious. greedy. business-minded. smart. ruthless. and yet he is a soft-hearted man.
(he's now one of my favourite characters from a movie ever.)
now i understand why everyone was praising this movie and in particular this actor's performance.

combine that with P T Anderson's usual brilliant direction and amazing scenery and you have a winner ladies and gentlemen.

but a fair warning.
not many people will like this movie i admit.
because it is different.
the first line of speech doesn't even come until more then 10 minutes into the show - and yet it sets the tone for the character and the film.
it is not your typical hollywood blockbuster that everyone flocks to.
if you want to watch a movie then this is not your cup of tea.
but if you want to watch a film. then enjoy.

by far one of the best and most powerful movies of the year.
when you still have that feeling of awe after you get home after the movie - then it was a really good movie bub.
i hope there are more to come honestly.

Final Verdict: 5 out of 5

Juno

Times Watched: 1
Watched with: Miss Hana @ GV Vivo City (21/02)
Snacks: Marks & Spencer Chocolate Curls & Iced Lemon Tea

so here's another oscar-nominated flim that has eveyone touting and screaming that it's "the best film of the year" and so on.
well this must be a REALLY good year for movies.
because i counted 4 movies so far that are supposed to be 'THE BEST' of the year and so far i'm sorry to say none have delivered.
well almost. but not quite.

so Juno MacGuff (Ellen Page) is a 16 year old.
and she's kinda like the weirdo in school. not the nerd. the weirdo.
y'know. the kind with a hamburger-phone and plays in a band.
well. she gets knocked up by Paulie Bleeker (Superbad's Michael Cera) who's a nerdy track runner and has this habit of Orange Tic-Tacs.
and throw in the usual mix of parents (Spider-man's' J K Simmons & The West Wing's Allison Janney) plus a (irritating) best friend (Olivia Thirlby).

so the obvious logical choice would be for Juno to give the baby up for adoption and actually manages to find a suitable couple (Jason Bateman & Jennifer Garner) who are looking to adopt a baby (such perfect timing right?).

so you know where this is all leading to right?
i now exactly how to describe this movie.
this movie is one of those quirky indie-movies which has good writing but normally doesn't make it big on-screen.
but this movie was lucky enough to get big names attached and i guess it's because if this that it was noticed enough to get so many good reviews.

i'll be honest. i watched this to judge if Ellen Page deserved the Best Actress nomination for the upcoming Oscars and i'll have to say she did a pretty good job.
she plays Juno so well that no matter what smart-arse comments she makes - you still like the character.
yeah sure the nonchalance of the whole show was a bit weird to swallow (who the hell acts so cool am i right?) but i think it was a superb cast.

but i'm sorry.
this movie was quirky.
this movie was something different.
this movie was good.
but this movie is NOT the best movie of the year.

Final Verdict: 2 & 1/2 out of 5

No Country For Old Men

Times Watched: 1
Watched with: Mr Rider @ GV Vivo City (18/02)
Snacks: Popcorn, Gummy Jelly Hearts & Iced Lemon Tea

see that poster?
now those are the eyes of a psycho stone cold killer.
seriously.

so this is the story of everyday-joe Llewelyn Moss (Josh Brolin) who stumbles upon a drug-deal in the desert gone bad.
so that means a lot of dead mexicans and a shit-load of cash.
now obviously the drugsters aren't going to let it go just like that right?
so they hire stone-cold weirdo-haircut psycho bad to the bone assassin Anton Chigurh (Javier Bardem) to dispatch the dude.

and like duh there has to be a lawman right?
ageing sheriff Ed Tom Bell (Tommy Lee Jones) is just about ready to retire and then the shit really hits the fan balls.

so the chase is on.
and the thing i liked about this movie is that it's so unconventional.
yeah it was based on a novel but it's by The Coen Brothers so you can expect a bit of variation in style (even though the dialogue is lifted verbatim from the novel)

and for once. you root for the bad guy.
whether you're rooting for Llewelyn who's the normal country boy who catches a lucky break or whether it's Chigurh who is so fucking cool at times that it's scary.
and his big ass gun is enough to get hyped balls. shocking.

sure sure some of you might root for the sheriff.
but NO ONE will root for Woody Harellson's character because he's a cock.

but i'd heard soooo much about Javier Bardem's performance as the hitman in this show and he'd won so many awards for it (even though it's his first major english-speaking role) and i have to agree he did a fantastic job.
and please don't be fooled by the haircut...


ps if you see someone walking to you with a gas cyclinder... run.

Final Verdict: 4 & 1/2 out of 5

Jumper

Times Watched: 1
Watched with: Mr Porno & Mr Rider @ FilmGarde KLP (13/02)
Snacks: Cadbury Raisin Chocolates

well now didn't the trailer look really cool?
the very idea of doing what the trailer suggested was good enough to just go check out this movie am i right or not?
hmmmmm i wonder....

so David Rice (Hayden Christensen aka Anakin Skywalker) is, as he says, "a chump just like you" but this 'chump' has the power to teleport.
this is apparently due to a genetic anomaly which allowed him to teleport himself to a place just by thinking about it. sounds cool right?
well he discovered this after a freak accident involving (the token love interest) Millie (Rachel Bilson) when he was still a kid.

and just like any good movie plot, Davey boy decides to just run off and rob a few banks and live the good life of seeing the sights of the world (like big ben and the pyramids) REALLY LITERALLY up-close and spending all his hard-stolen cash.

but how can this injustice be allowed right?
so in comes evil Roland (Samuel L. Jackson) who belongs to this group called the Paladins who kill 'jumpers' for the threat they pose.
not enough?
enter another rogue jumper Griffin (Jamie Ball aka Billy 'the ballerina boxer' Elliot) who has a big beef with the Paladins and prefers to hunt them instead of them hunting him.

well it sounds interesting enough right?
the film is based on a novel of the same name but apparently the movie is different from the movie in a few ways.

but Doug Liman has not disappointed with his previous outings (Go!, The Bourne Identity, Mr & Mrs Smith) and his nitty-gritty directing skills and style are still apparent in this very well shot movie with lovely scenery and solid special effects.

but i couldn't get past the whole Hayden Christensen vs Samuel L Jackson thing.
it was kinda like watching Anakin vs Mace Windu all over again.
especially with the tone of Christensen's voice STILL sounding so much like a disgruntled jedi it was really hard not to expect yoda to jump out from somwhere.

this movie was cool.
this movie was watchable.
and the novel it is based on has a sequel called 'Reflex'.
so go figure.

Final Verdict: 2 & 1/2 out of 5

Michael Clayton

Times Watched: 1
Watched with: Mr Rider @ GV VivoCity (11/02)
Snacks: Kachang Puteh & Qoo Grape

so this is apparently a movie that received RAVE reviews.
it garnerd numerous award nominations and even won quite a few as well (not including the upcoming oscars of course)
some even went as far as calling it 'The Movie Of The Year'.
hmmmmmmmmmmm....

well anyways.
this movie is about Michael Clayton (George Clooney) (like duh) who works for a law firm as a 'fixer'. that kinda means he's a lawyer... but he cleans up the mess that other lawyers leave behind y'know what i mean?
(in lawsuits/cases not in the toilet you nunce)
and as good at his job as he may be, he's into trouble with the mob after a failed venture into the restaurant business with his brothers.

and the whole plot revolves around him trying to undo a big messy lawsuit involving a huge company called U-North, specifically it's head legal honcho Karen Crowder (well-played by Tilda Swinton) and his colleague Arther Edens (Tom Wilkinson)
so as the lawsuit (and the plot) get more and more complicated, Arthur starts going crazy and this of course leads to all the shady dealings being played out.

so you have Michael Clayton the 'strapped-for-cash' hotshot fixer trying to save the day and save his friend (and ultimately his law firm) from a complete breakdown which sounds kinda boring doesn't it?

well i'll be really honest it was a bit boring and dreary at first but things really started picking up later on in the movie.
and i don't want to give anything away...
but if you're looking for a good ol' lawyer suspense/conspiracy kinda movie then you should go watch this movie because it's not that bad.

maybe not the movie of the year.
but it's watchable.

Final Verdict: 3 out of 5

The House

Times Watched: 1
Watched with: Mr Rider & Mr and Mrs Porno @ GV VivoCity (05/02)
Snacks: Mixed Nuts & Green Tea

fuck-type harprak wahkrak cheeplak.
wow wowee...
what a really really horrible movie balls.

another mr-rider & mr-porno classic choice.

NO i am not exaggerating okay.
i gave chances to thai horror shows before if you remember.
and some were pretty good too.
like Shutter was okay. i even gave Body #19 a chance.
but this was utter shite.

the plot was horrible and predictable.
the acting was worse.
and the whole time i don't know if the lead actress or the lead actor was more irritating.
i really felt like killing them both. seriously.

and this movie was NOT scary at all balls.
it was more like a really bad comedy instead of a horror show.

i know it sounds like i am being biased.
but no.
i am being fair like i always am when i give movie reviews.

this was a REALLY bad movie.

my advice is not to watch it. seriously.

Final Verdict: 1/2 out of 5

Sweeney Todd: Demon Barber Of Fleet Street

Times Watched: 3
Watched with: Mr Rider @ Bedok Princess (01/02)
Alone @ Home (06/02)
Joseph, Josephine & Rita @ Cathay Cineleisure (09/02)
Snacks: Double Cheeseburger & Limeade @ Princess
Water @ Home
Nothing @ Cineleisure

now THIS is what i call a slasher flick!

okay so let me first warn all you people who intend to watch this.
if you're looking for the same old trite and tested movie-musical experience ala Hairspray then forget it.
if you're looking for an action movie then forget it.
if you're looking for a horror movie then you're almost there.
but first and foremost let me stress again - this is a MUSICAL.
and that means people SING out the dialogue okay so you guys have NO excuse to whine and say "eh alamak how come got singing all this shit?"

but really lah you should go and watch this movie.

i really respect Johnny Depp for the variety of roles he takes on.
and the acting in the movie from ALL the actors was really top-notch - especially from Johnny Depp & Helena Bonham-Carter (who is so hot)
you can really feel for the characters balls.

okay so it's basically about this barber named Sweeney Todd (Johnny Depp) who was wrongly imprisoned by this crooked judge (Alan Rickman).
throw in a lovelorn psycho hot bitch (Helena Bonham-Carter) and a host of other weirdo characters (Sacha Baron Cohen is hilarious in the movie)
so on top of that add in some vengeful slashings and some YUMMY pies and walah you have a very refreshing movie to watch.

ultimately a tale of love and revenge (same old same old)
superb acting.
superb direction.
superb score and music.
maybe some of you might be bothered by the accents.
but overall i'd say this is one worth watching.

PS i simply have to mention that...
the actors did a superb job on this one. especially singing it out.
the one scene where Johnny Depp & Alan Rickman sing 'Pretty Women' was truly a show-stealer for me and it's a lovely song. the harmonies were solid.
and Johnny Depp sounds so much like David Bowie when he sings y'know.
and have i mentioned how hot Helena Bonham-Carter is?

now if you ever get to see the musical version then good.
but please take note. the movie is different.
to be honest i prefer the movie. it gives us a darker insight into a tale of vengeance, justice and ultimately - love.

i originally wanted to give this movie a rating of 3.
then i changed my mind and gave it a 3 & 1/2.
but i just listened to the whole soundtrack and i really began to appreciate this movie more and more than i first did.

this movie won a golden globe for best picture.
and i agree.

Final Verdict: 4 out of 5