4bia

Times Watched: 3
Watched With: Nobody @ Cathay EHub (27/08)
Mr Rider @ Cathay Cineleisure (27/08)
Mr Dopamine Dreamer & Ms Ritz @ Cathay Cineleisure (28/08)
Snacks: None @ EHub
Green Tea @ Cathay Cineleisure
Cadbury Raisin Chocolates @ Cathay Cineleisure

sawadee-what-the-crap!

From the directors of some of Thailand's scariest movies comes an anthology of 4 short ghost stories designed to scare the shit out of you.

Story One: Happiness
Pin (Apinya Sakuljaroensuk) is a girl who's been stuck in her flat for the past 3 months because a traffic accident has left her leg in a cast.
She's been extremely lonely and has only her mobile phone sms to keep her in contact with the outside world.
But things seems to be on the up when a mysterious stranger starts texting her and love starts to bloom.
Could this be a happy turn for Pin?

Story Two: Tit For Tat
A group of delinquents led by Deaw (Witawat Singlampong) decide to punish a nerdy student for ratting them out to the principal and getting them expelled.
But Pink (Apinya Sakuljaroensuk) has a conscience and tries to get them to stop but to no avail. Now they all have to deal with their victim's deep dark secret.

Story Three: In The Middle
Aey, Shin, Ter & Phuak (Pongsatorn Jongwilat) are 4 buddies who go for a camping/rafting trip in the forest. The usual topic of discussion is of course - ghosts.
But after their raft capsizes, Aey goes missing.
But he turns up later acting very strangely leading his buddies to believe that he's come back to haunt them...

Story Four: Last Fright
Flight attendant Pim Wongpoom (Laila Boonyasak) has been having a secret affair with Prince Albert of Wahnistahl. And when his wife Princess Sophie finds out, she requests for Pim to be her personal attendant on a flight to Phuket.
What exactly does the Princess have in store for Pim? Can Pim conceal the affair for much longer?

I watched this movie 3 times.
And all 3 times i jumped at the scary bits.
I knew it was coming. But somehow i still jumped

Whether you watch this movie on DVD or in the cinema.
I guarantee that YOU'RE gonna jump too.
One of the scarier movie in recent times. Very worth it.

Final Verdict:

Death Race

Times Watched: 1
Watched With: Nobody @ The Grand Cathay (23/08)
Snacks: Crispy Chicken & Grape Soda

The Fast and the.. Futuristic?

The year is 2012 and the US economy has collapsed.
Now the prisons are run by commercial enterprises and they come up with Death Race to profit from the citizens' desire for blood and carnage.
Prisoners race for their lives and if you notch 5 race wins - you win your freedom.

Jensen Ames (Jason Statham) is an honest working man & former race car driver who's framed for the murder of his wife and he's sent to prison (like duh).
The timing's perfect because prison warden & creator of Death Race Warden Hennessey (Joan Allen) needs a new driver to replace the recently deceased and very popular crowd favourite racer Frankenstein. The catch? Frankenstein only needs 1 more win and he's a free man.
So that's got to be a good deal right??

In steps Coach (Ian McShane) and his 2 mechanics to guide Jensen to glory while preserving the secret that it's him beneath the racer's mask and not the real Frankenstein.
But rivalry with other drivers like Machine Gun Joe (Tyrese Gibson), Pachenko (Max Ryan), Grimm (Robert LaSardo) & 14K (Robin Shou) is sure to hamper Jensen/Frankenstein's winning ways right?
Maybe sexy navigator Case (Natalie Martinez) can help?

Well this is actually a remake of an old movie called 'Death Race 2000'.
The plot is exactly the same but Frankenstein was played by David Carradine & Machine Gun Joe was played by Sylvester Stallone.

And this movie wasn't exactly superb but racing cars and carnage promise at least a minimum sum of enjoyment am I right?
Excitement during the races and Statham being his usual self is enough reason to go watch this movie just for the sake of carnage and violence.

10% quality factor. 100% adrenaline factor.

Final Verdict:

The Midnight Meat Train

Times Watched: 1
Watched With: Nobody @ Cathay Cineleisure (23/08)
Snacks: None

I watched The Midnight Meat Train.. at midnight.

Leon Kauffman (Bradley Cooper) is a photgrapher who's obsessed with capturing the true nature of the city but so far, even with the help of his girlfriend Maya (Leslie Bibb) he's not been able to really do it.

And now that his other friend Jurgis (Roger Bart) introduces him to art hot-shot Susan Hoff (Brooke Shields), Leon has to step-up his game and get some quality shots in time for her arts show.
This leads to Leon walking the streets late at night hoping to find that perfect shot to give him a breakthrough.

But after the disappearance of a model he snapped, Leon notices a strange pattern emerging involving missing persons and a mysterious butcher named Mahogany (Vinnie Jones) and our boy Leon of course HAS to investigate right?
This leads Leon deeper and deeper into the mystery of the missing persons and how Mahogany is linked to them and how much longer before this affects his normal life?

I read one review that said this movie was "many times better than any of the lame Saw episodes" and i had very high hopes seeing that it was based n a short story by horror-maestro Clive Barker.
But i'm sad (and rather not surprised) that this was disappointing.
And no way was it better than some of the Saw movies.

Vinnie Jones is such a great presence in all his movies and he's actually the main reason i went to watch this one.
But pretty much everything else was very bland.
The other actors were horrible. The direction was mediocre if you ask me.
Yeah sure it's gory to a certain extent but I know they could have done much much better if they'd put in a bit more effort and thought into it because it kinda got very boring and predictable towards the end.

Well judging by the reaction of the other people in the cinema I'd say they enjoyed themselves somewhat.
Good for a late nighter if you want one...

But then again...
If you saw this guy on the train.. would you be scared?

"Pleased to MEAT you!"

Final Verdict:

Muder Of The Inugami Clan

Times Watched: 1
Watched With: Nobody @ Cathay Cineleisure (16/08)
Snacks: Hello Panda & Green Tea

The almighty patriarch of the Inugami family Sahei Inugami (Tatsuya Nakadai) has just passed away and his family and especially his 3 concubines are anxious to know the contents of his last will and testament to see who will inherit the family fortune and business.

But when the will reads that family outsider Tamayo (Nanako Matsushima) will inherit the family fortune there is an uproar.
And more so that the conditions of the will read that she must marry either one of the 3 sons of the 3 respective concubines of the now deceased Sahei or one of the 2 sons that he had with outcast villagers.

Then comes the mysterious return of Sukekiyo (Kikunosuke Onoe) one of the sons of the concubines and prospective husband to Tamayo (but he was horribly scarred in battle and must wear a mask).
Suddenly members of The Inugami Clan are being gruesomely killed one by one in accordance to the 'Heirloom Curse' cast by one of the outcast villagers on Sahei back in the olden days.

The family lawyer then hires private detective Kosuke Kindaichi (Koji Ishizaka) to try and solve the murders and finally put to rest the affairs of The Inagumi Clan once and for all.

Oh boy you have no idea how may times i had to re-type that whole synopsis because it's just so bloody complicated.
But it's not so bad when you're watching it on-screen of course.

Well this movie was not a bad attempt albeit a dragy attempt. But i think the director kind of took a wrong direction with the whole 'the detective is the big hero' approach.
He was going for the whole 'Hercule Poirot' kind of thing which simply didn't work in rural Japan if you ask me.
And after awhile you just want everyone to die so you can see who's left standing and that has to be the murderer right?

Well think of this as kind of like... Clue...
no no wait.. think of it as Gosford Park. But in Japan. And more complicated.

Final Verdict:

A Month Of Hungry Ghosts

Times Watched: 1
Watched With: Nobody @ GV Cinema Europa (16/08)
Snacks: None

Every year during the 7th month of the Chinese lunar calendar, many people believe that spirits and ghosts of ancestors walk the earth.
The gates of Hell open and the spirits walk with the living who try their best to appease them by making offerings.

Director Tony Kern tries to shed some light on the rituals and somewhat old-fashioned traditions surrounding what we know know as 'The Hungry Ghosts Month' and we see the stories unfolding through first-hand personal accounts of people like a Taoist medium, a getai organizer and even an old-fashioned lady who believes that tradition is slowly dying.

I guess a lot of people came into the theater either not knowing it was a documentary or expecting it to be more of a 'shockumentary'.
But i can tell you this - about a quarter of the cinema walked about at the half-way mark (which is about 1hr into the movie).

This documentary manages to show the spirit (pardon the pun) of the Hungry Ghosts Festival and even sheds some light on some things you might not have known or might have had some cloudy doubts over.
But it tends to get very very draggy at times. (VERY)
Things tend to pick up towards the end (like footage of a medium getting possessed and stories of previous mishaps during previous festivals) but overall not good enough.

This may have been a documentary but it was one of those sucky ones.
You'd expect to be watching this on the Discovery Channel instead of in the cinema (maybe it was so bad no cable channel wanted to snap it up?)

Well it was quite okay but very disappointing.
If that makes any sense at all.

Final Verdict:

The Love Guru

Times Watched: 1
Watched With: Mr Rider @ The Cathay (09/08)
Snacks: None

Mariska Hargitay.

The Guru Pitka (Mike Myers) is the #2 Spiritual Advisor behind Deepak Chopra and he gets his chance to claim top spot when he is hired by hockey team owner Jane Bullard (Jessica Alba) to help solve a problem.
The star player Darren Roanoke's (Romany Malco) wife Prudence (Meagan Good) has run off to be with well-endowed rival hockey player Jacques 'Le Coq' Grande (Justin Timberlake) and this is obviously affecting his playing.

So The Guru Pitka must use the teachings of his master Guru Tugginmypudha (Ben Kingsley) to bring peace and order and karma while dealing with 'small' problems like the team manager Coach Punch Cherkov (Verne Troyer), loyal servant Rajneesh (Manu Narayan) and money-hungry lawyer Dick Pants (John Oliver) and of course dealing with his problem of being attracted to Jane while wearing a chastity belt.

A lot of critics actually panned this movie.
Some said it funny but offensive.
Some said it wasn't offensive but it wasn't funny.
I say it was what you'd expect from a Mike Myers movies.

Let's face it he's a pretty funny guy.
And yeah his jokes are pretty lame (sounds familiar) but as much as you try to control it there'll be a few jokes you'll definitely laugh at.
Not really a movie of substance but fun nonetheless.

And some of his wise sayings actually make sense.

Final Verdict:

Drillbit Taylor

Times Watched: 1
Watched With: Nobody @ Home (03/08)
Snacks: Chicken Wings & Green Tea

Oh boy it's the dude with the perpetual broken nose.

Wade (Nate Hartley) and Ryan (Troy Gentile) are a couple of geeks who are just starting high school and are so anxious to put up a goo first impression and be the 'cool dudes' instead of the geeks that always get picked on.
But when they help fellow geek Emmit (David Dorfman) they anger and incur the wrath of school bully Filkins (Alex Frost) and his buddy Ronnie (Josh Peck).

And they keep getting picked on. Everyday.
So they come up with some genius idea to hire a bodyguard to protect them at school and hopefully give Filkins a beating to teach him a lesson.

In steps Drillbit Taylor (Owen Wilson) who is actually nothing more than a bum looking to make a quick buck to make his big escape so he poses as an experienced bodyguard in hopes of making money off the boys and even conning them and stealing stuff from their houses.

So can the boys face their demons with the help of their new 'bodyguard' or will Drillbit Taylor finally decide to do the right thing?

Yeesh.
This is another movie i'm glad i watched at home.
First things first Owen Wilson sucks shit. And this movie was definitely aimed more at the Disney-teen crowd.

And this was another one of those 'real-life based' stories by Seth Rogen & Co (seems like they had a pretty cocked-up teen life)
Think of this as Superbad. But more like super-worse.
At least Superbad has McLovin.
Sure this movie has a few laughs. Keyword = few.

Well so much for that.

Final Verdict:

The Mummy: Tomb Of The Dragon Emperor

Times Watched: 1
Watched With: Miss Q @ FilmGarde KLP
Snacks: None

Brendan Fraser says in the trailer "I hate mummies".
Well I say "I hate Brendan Fraser".

So Rick O'Connell (Brendan Fraser) and wife Evelyn O’Connell (Maria Bello) have promised to each other that they'll retire from the adventurous life and settle down to the quite life instead.
But it is obvious that the 2 are getting bored and fast.

Meanwhile their son Alex O'Connell (Luke Ford) is all grown up and on his way to becoming an archeologist just like his parents.
But his first major find - The Tomb of the Dragon Emperor Han (Jet Li)- takes a turn for the worst when Chinese military pyshco General Yang (Anthony Wong Chau-Sang) wants to resurrect the evil emperor for the 'good' of China.

So the whole family is back together - including Jonathan (John Hannah) - to try and stop another Mummy from world domination.
And they're joined by protectors of the tomb Lin (Isabella Leong) & Zi Juan (Michelle Yeoh)
By the way, the latter's lover, General Ming Guo (Russell Wong) was brutally killed by Emperor Han so she wants revenge. Oh but what else right?

The only movie i enjoyed with Brendan Fraser was 'Bedazzled'.
And to be honest the first 2 'The Mummy' movies were pretty okay and rip-roaring in their own way i guess.
But this one was just bordering on shite.
And yes they replaced Rachel Weisz with Maria Bello.
Come on they didn't even bring back Gigolo Antoine aka Recber Rustu!!

And don't be shocked.
And here's a tip.
Just remember half-way through the movie that you're watching 'The Mummy 3' and no you're NOT watching 'Van Helsing'.

Final Verdict:

Prom Night

Times Watched: 1
Watched With: Nobody @ Home (31/07)
Snacks: Cheezels and Dr Pepper

Donna Keppel (Brittany Snow) is being tormented by memories of her past.
One of her teachers, Richard Fenton (Johnathon Schaech) has gone all lovey-dover-psycho and decided to kill her entire family.

Fast-forward 3 years later and Donna now lives with her aunt and uncle and it's time for -jeng jeng jeng- her senior prom.
So it's off to the prom with her boyfriend Bobby (Scott Porter) and her friends Lisa (Dana Davis), Ronnie (Collins Pennie), Michael (Kellan Lutz) and Claire (Jessica Stroup).

The only problem is our boy slasher Richard has escaped from jail (perfect timing!!) and now Detective Winn (Idris Elba) races against the odds to try and prevent the past from replaying itself.

This movie is supposed to be a remake of the a 1980 movie with the same name starring Jamie Lee Curtis and Leslie Nielsen. But the director says that "the only similarities between the 2 movies is the title".
Then don't call it a remake lah bugger. Call it a rip-off.

One of the problems with this movie is that it starts off showing you exactly who the slasher is and so you know exactly what's going to happen.
Most of the time when this happens then you'd expect to see either some violent gore scenes or at least some gratuitous nudity.
There is neither in this movie. None at all.

Is it my imagination or have there been A LOT of crappy movies lately.

Final Verdict: