Born To Be A Movie Reviewer

Finally. At Last. A real place you can come to get REAL movie reviews. Don't trust what others say about a movie? Well you shouldn't. You should trust me.

Monday, April 20, 2009

Killshot


Genre: Action / Drama
Watched With: Nobody @ GV Vivo City (17/04)
Snacks: None


"Always know what you're gonna do."

Armand 'The Blackbird' Degas (Mickey Rourke) is a hitman.
He's ruthless but he always has a code of conduct but he's been grappling with the death of his kid brother.

While on the run from the local mafia, Blackbird chances upon a loud and brash young punk and thief Richie Nix (Joseph Gordon-Levitt) who reminds him of his late brother. So he teams up with Richie to pull off a few jobs and hopefully groom the youngster into a proper crook in hopes it might help clear his conscience of his brother's death.

Their first job just happens to be extorting a real-estate agency where trouble couple Wayne Colson (Thomas Jane) and Carmen Colson (Diane Lane) just so happen to be at that time.
But after a botched job and Carmen catching Blackbird's eye, this leaves 2 witnesses and a job that Blackbird and Richie must finish.

So with the help of Richie's girlfriend Donna (Rosario Dawson) and a little patience, Blackbird hopes to resolve his business and maybe finally retire.

This movie was based on a novel of the same name.
And I'm guessing it's probably better read as a novle perhaps?

Rourke is his usual gritty self. His acting is believable as is Joseph Gordon-Levitt's irritating take on Richie Nix.
But I guess such a complex moral story cannot be played out in the movie's short running time.
A little gripping but overall not worth it.

Final Verdict:

Wednesday, April 15, 2009

Taken


Genre: Mystery / Action
Watched With: Nobody @ Cathay Cineleisure (15/04)
Snacks: Kacang Putih & Coke

NOW we're talking.

Bryan Mills (Liam Neeson) is a badass.
Formerly part of an elite squad of specialists for the CIA, Bryan decided to 'retire' to try and build up a relationship with his teenage daughter Kim (Maggie Grace) whom he did not get to see much while she was growing up because of work.

His ex-wife Lenore (Famke Janssen) is now married to rich business Stuart (Xander Berkeley) who has arranged for Kim and her friend Amanda (Katie Cassidy) to go to Europe but Bryan objects because he does not feel comfortable having the 2 teenage girls alone in Europe.

But they go anyways and disaster strikes.
Kim and Amanda are kidnapped by a group of Albanian gangsters in Paris who are part of a cartel who traffic teenage girls as prostitutes.
Kim manages to get the message to her dad just before she is abducted and Bryan makes a promise to her abductor over the phone that he "is going to find him and kill him".
And so Bryan comes to Paris.

Using his network of former working allies like French detective Jean-Claude (Olivier Rabourdin) but in the end has to resort to solo vigilante work to try and rescue his daughter and bring her to safety.

You guys remember a few years back there was a movie called 'Man On Fire' where the guy goes on an all-out revenge mission to rescue a kid?
Well that's THIS movie but with less talking. Which is very welcome.

This movie was very basic.
Introduce the characters. Define their personalities. Set the plot. Sit back and watch the action. Basic but very effective.

Liam Neeson was solid as this no-nonsense tough guy actually and this was quite a gripping and suspenseful movie.
Even though you know what the ending is - you'll be more than happy to sit out the ride to find out exactly how it gets to the ending point.
You'll find yourself rooting for the hero to kick some arse. Trust me.

Not a bad choice for a weekend flick if you're looking for one.

Final Verdict:

Tuesday, April 14, 2009

Knowing


Genre: Mystery / Sci-Fi
Watched With: Mr Rider @ The Cathay (11/04)
Snacks: Corn Dogs & Coke

What's with Nicholas Cage's fucking hair?!

John Koestler (Nicolas Cage) is professor.
Ever since his wife died, he and his (equally smart) son Caleb (Chandler Canterbury) have been living in relative awkwardness.

Caleb's school is having an event where they dig up a time capsule buried 50 years ago containing notes and drawings done by the students at that time.
And it just so happens that Caleb gets a letter written by Lucinda Embry (Lara Robinson). Now there wouldn't be anything weird with that except that other students get drawings of spaceships and stuff but Lucinda's letter is nothing but a long list of continuous numbers.

In a drunken stupor, John deciphers the numbers and realizes that they're actually dates and figures of major disasters where a great number of people are killed (including the event that killed John's wife). And there are only 1 or 2 more events predicted by Lucinda to happen and they're supposed to happen in a few days time.
And of course John is going to try and alert people but of course nobody's going to believe him.

So John tracks down and tries to explain the situation to Lucinda's daughter Diana Wayland (Rose Byrne) and her daughter Abby (also Lara Robinson).

And who is the mysterious man in black who seems to be tracking John and his quest to unveil the truth about Lucinda's prophecies?

People will be wondering "How could the little girl have known about all these events?"
But I'm wondering "How could I have watched another Nicholas Cage movie? I should have known how it would turn out"

Seriously people.
What a piece of shit movie.
At first yes sure maybe a bit of suspense (despite Nicholas Cage's horrible acting and even worse hair) but halfway through the movie I managed to (and you probably will too) realize what the hell was going on.

They should change the title from 'Knowing' to 'Should Have Known Better' or 'As Expected'.
Worse type.

Final Verdict:

Thursday, April 9, 2009

The Unborn


Genre: Horror
Watched With: My Father, Mother, Brother & Miss Yana @ Cathay EHub (06/04)
Snacks: Nachos & Green Tea

Strange things are happening to Casey Beldon (Odette Yustman).
She started having dreams of a little boy and somehow her disturbing dreams seem to be formulating in real life.

Her boyfriend Mark Hardigan (Cam Gigandet) and best friend Romy (Meagan Good) support her and help her get to the bottom of things.
Things lead them to Sofi Kozma (Jane Alexander), a Holocaust survivor whom Casey's mum Janet Beldon (Carla Gugino) tried to contact just before she went insane and killed herself.

It appears that Casey is being tormented by a Jeish spirit known as a Dybbuk who is trying to re-enter the world in human form.
So Casey needs the help of Rabbi Sendak (Gary Oldman) and try and exorcise the demon.

Holy shit what the hell man.
This movie didn't get many good reviews and i guess i can see how people could come to that decision.

You end up laughing more than screaming (though my mum seemed to have quite a good time getting scared).
This movie seems to make things too convenient to believe.
Surprising seeing as to how it's written and directed by David S. Goyer (of Blade: Trinity fame). Horrible job Davy boy.

Well watch it at your own risk.
I guess seasoned horror-moviegoers won't find this so scary.

Final Verdict:

Tuesday, April 7, 2009

Fast & Furious 4


Genre: Action
Watched With: Miss Q @ The Cathay (04/04)
Snacks: Chocolate M&Ms & Grape Soda


Vroom Vroom.

Dominic Toretto (Vin Diesel) and his girlfriend Letty (Michelle Rodriguez) are still committing (literal) highway robberies but this time in the Dominican Republic. They left the States after events in the first film where FBI agent Brian O'Conner (Paul Walker) busted them for their crimes but let them go.
But when Letty is murdered after returning to the States, Toretto returns as well to seek revenge.

O'Conner in the mean time is investigating a new series of smuggling capers involving illegal street racers.
And somehow his and Toretto cross paths again as they infiltrate the smuggling ring run by Arturo Braga (Robert Miano) and his henchmen Campos (John Ortiz), Fenix Rise (Laz Alonso) and Gisele Harabo (Gal Gadot).

So can both of them get their man?
And will O'Conner bring Toretto in this time?

So this movie's events are set just before Tokyo Drift by the way.
But for a racing movie - this one sucked big time.
There were only like 3 scenes involving racing (or any form of fast driving) throughout the whole movie.
And the rest of the time was either too much talking or too much chasing on foot (but mostly talking).
There aren't in that many cars on display and the ones shown weren't very impressive.
Looks their really trying to milk the series eh?

Well my advice is to stick to the originals.
Or even the first 3 sequels.
because this one sucks in comparison.

Final Verdict:

Saturday, April 4, 2009

Coming Soon


Genre: Horror / Comedy
Watched With: Mr Porno & Mr Rider @ GV Marina (04/04)
Snacks: Nachos, Green Peas, Coke & Iced Lemon Tea

If you'd noticed, the genre is Horror / COMEDY.

Shane (Chantawit Tanasaewe) works at the local cineplex with his buddy Yod (Worakan Rojanawat) and his ex-girlfriend Som.
Things between them have strained because Shane was formerly a drug addict and Som found him stealing her watch with the intention of pawning it to buy more drugs. In the scuffle Shane accidentally hits her and the 2 part ways.
But obviously he didn't mean it right?

There's a new horror movie coming soon to the cineplex called 'The Revengeful Spirit'.
It tells the tale of a true story where a crazy old woman named Chaba kidnapped children in a village believing they were her own.
So she gouged their eyes out.
The villagers find her and take revenge by hanging her.

Yod convinces Shane to help him make some extra money by copying the film and selling the prints to video pirates (which should be easy since they have access to the original prints).
But things take a turn for the worse when Yod suddenly disappears after watching the movie.

Shane investigates and realizes that the spirit of Chaba terrorizes and kills anyone who watches the movie. So he goes on a hunt to try and destroy the spirit before she can claim anymore lives including his own and Som's as well.

That was pretty long explanation for a pretty crappy movie.
More laughable than scary.
Some parts just don't make sense and the director resorts to tricks like sudden camera cuts and loud noises to try and scare you.
To no avail of course.

Don't watch this in the cinema.
Don't even buy the DVD.
Just wait for one of your poor friends to unsuspectingly buy it then borrow it from them.
But by watching it - you risk Chaba coming after you. (yeah right)
Do you really want to see her die?


Final Verdict:

Friday, April 3, 2009

Confessions Of A Shopaholic


Genre: Chick Flick / Comedy
Watched With: Miss Q @ Cathay EHub (02/04)
Snacks: Iced Lemon Tea

You have got to be kidding me right.

Rebecca Bloomwood (Isla Fisher) is a shopaholic.
She chooses Prada over men and Gucci over... well... everything.
And it does not matter that she does not need the item.
She just HAS to buy it.

After racking up a mountain load of debt due to her shopping habits and losing her job, Rebecca and her best friend Suze (Krysten Ritter) need to come up with a way for her to make money to pay debts off while trying to curb her shopping tendencies and escape the evil clutches of debt collector Derek Smeath (Robert Stanton).

Rebeccas has always had her heart set on working at fashion magazine Alette run by Alette Naylor (Kristin Scott Thomas) and her right-hand person Alicia Billington (Leslie Bibb). But in the mean time, Rebecca chances upon an offer for work at financial magazine Successful Savings with editor Luke Brandon (Hugh Dancy) whom she happens to fancy and somehow things work out for her.

But of course things are never as peachy as they seem and Rebecca has to face up to her past of her addiction to shopping and eventually has to make a decision as to what she really wants in life.
And this time the choices are a little more complicated than just Prada or Gucci.

Isla fisher is cute but I think she really overdoes it in this one.
Errr... let's just say the girls will enjoy this one.
A lot.

Final Verdict: